Thank God for Kraft

It’s so much easier to be happy; to choose to love the things that you have… instead of always wanting what you can’t have. The only problem is knowing if the things you have truly make you happy if you choose to love them, or if you are only getting a small percentage of the happiness that is entitled to you. And what defines your happiness? Your career? Your family? Your love?

It’s different for everyone, but one thing we all have in common is the necessity of figuring out what makes you happy. It’s much simpler than it sounds, however. What makes it complicated are the mistakes we’ve made, or the wrong choices, the easier choices, the lack of choosing, or fear. A man is defined by his actions. Nothing less. Your choices are who you are.

So I ask this of you:

Choose what it is that you want in your life. If you already have it, then choose to love it and be happy. Life is too short and precious for anything less. If you don’t have it, then seek it out at all costs.

Your happiness is waiting somewhere. Make your choice and show us who you really are.

I dare you :)

Love,

Eric M Chicago

P.S. Um, thank GOD for Kraft Mac & Cheese. The ultimate comfort food. Make it with a half cup of skim milk (instead of 1/4 cup like it says on the box). It’s soupier and better for your soul.

Written on June 28th, 2007 , Inspirational, Love Life Tags: , , , , ,
Byproducts of Target, Dreaming, and Self Re-evaluation Therapy

I have a strong feeling that a lot of us are getting ready to enter a new stage in our lives in the coming weeks. Our lives are becoming much more important these days, and a lot of us are embarking on new journeys, being forced to make decisions that will be fulcrums for the rest of our lives, repaying debts (monetary and karmic), reevaluating our lives, what we want, what we think we are worth, what is truly important to us. I know quite a few people whose lives seem to be coming to a head, and I know my life has already traveled through a one-way gateway, changing what I thought was going to be my life forever.

I just want to put this out there: I want all of you to promise me one thing – that you will let yourselves become braver people than you ever thought you were. And that doesn’t mean taking chances, necessarily. I mean maybe it does, but that’s not what I’m talking about. It simply means that you will be more honest with yourself than ever, and stand up with your decisions with all the conviction you own. And most importantly, not to let convenience or comfort penetrate what is really valuable to you. Convenience and comfort can sometimes be your best friends or your most dangerous enemies, disguising themselves as feelings that are more important and pure. And there’s the rub – when are those things supporting your life or draining it? It took me the longest time to figure that out for myself. I think it’s different for each situation, but in the end they are really merely byproducts of more important things – they are there only as a result of other, more impenetrable forces. It’s up to you to deal with those forces, and figure out how they affect you. “It’s just easier” usually never makes anyone’s life any easier. And anyway don’t ever build your life on byproducts… you give away your control and you could end up with some really nasty food poisoning.

You only live once. I believe that to be the most powerful grouping of words ever created, and there’s a reason why the happiest people on the planet use that as their mantra. Figure out what you want, and go get it if you can. Own it all. Just remember that if you lie to yourself or other people in order to get it, then you ruin it’s value. Simply ruin it.

Yes, I’m tired, and depressed, and emotionally and physically drained. No, I don’t actually have any idea what I’m talking about in this blog. I don’t even think it makes sense.

Hm? Well I don’t know. She might, I can’t tell you.

…

Seventeen. No, I counted twice.

I’m going to make myself a cocktail and take a nap, and dream about a world in which I get everything I want – including enough sleep and someone to do my laundry for me whenever I want, for free. Oh, and a gift card to like, I don’t know, Target or something. To get a nice picture with. Or a CD, or something. Maybe a frame. I love frames. I need to frame a few things, actually. Maybe Target’s having a sale, and I could get like 3 frames and a CD with my gift card. Sometimes they have cute track jackets, too.

Why are there so many fucking songs about rainbows?

Eric M

Written on June 17th, 2007 , Bitching About Life Tags: , , , ,
Keeping my mind off things survey

What Would You Rather Be Called?

1. Babe or Baby?- neither
2. Sweetie or Honey?- neither
3. Darling or Sunshine?- ew.

PRESENTLY -

1. Is your hair wet?- No
2. Is your cell phone right by you?- Yes
3. Do you miss someone?- terribly
4. Are you wearing chap stick?-never
5. Are you tired?- yes
6. Are you excited for tomorrow? not particularly, but i’m not dreading it either. unless it’s like THIS day. oh god. i woke up this morning and dunkin donuts is closed for remodeling. That’s where i get my iced coffee. That’s what I DO in the morning. That’s how I prepare to face the day. I am a creature of habit and routine, and I do the same thing every morning, in the same order. When something is out of whack with my morning routine, I know exactly how my day is going to go. So I get up and it’s CLOSED. Let’s just say the rest of my day followed suit.
7. Are you upset with anyone? myself i suppose
8. Are you wearing pajamas? it’s 4 in the afternoon.

HAVE YOU -

1. Recently done anything you regret? absolutely not
2. Ever lied? what kind of a question is this? Are you kidding me? of course I’ve lied!! i don’t do it very often though and i’m a HORRIBLE liar. That’s probably why i never do it. although… that doesn’t make ME sound too good, does it? eh
3. Ever stuck gum under a desk? yes and boogers too   …HAHahahah  EWWWWwww
4. Ever kicked someone? HAHahahah  yes i have i love kicking people
5. Ever tripped over your own feet? yes i am very clumsy
6. Recently kissed one of your guy/girl friends? not recently enough

TODAY -

1. Have you cursed? yes
2. Have you yelled at someone? mmm, no
3. Have you gotten mad at someone? well, not mad really

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: yes

Q: Who?
A: WHO?!?

Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: one older brother. He’s a loan accountant.  And straight.  And he was in the army. apparantly my parents were able to fashion the two most polar opposite children on the face of the planet. let’s hear it for bioengineering

Q: Do you want children?
A: absolutely.  and a dog.  but not a yappy one

Q: Do you smile often?
A: depends on who i’m with

Q: Do you wish on stars?
A: once upon a time when i was naive and i still thought the world held a glimmer of hope, before i was beaten with a bloody stick of reality and learned that all you do in life is learn how to pick yourself up off the dirty ground.

…oh, I mean no.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
A: no

Q: When did you last cry?
A: i don’t remember and/or i’m not telling

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A: it’s alright, i suppose

Q: Are your toenails painted?
A: no

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: usually i am, but i’m quiet

Q: Who’s bed did you sleep in last night?
A: i slept on a couch.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: purple

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: one mangy cat

Q: What were you doing at 6 P.M. last night?
A: drinking and eating and laughing at people

Q: I can’t wait until:
A: i’m 30. i hate the 20′s.

Q: Is Tom on your friends list?
A: no

Q: Look to your right what do you see?
A: harmony

Q: Look to your left what do you see?
A: a window filled with sunshine

Q: Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
A: yes yes

Q: Why did you take this survey?
trying to keep my mind off other things

Written on June 11th, 2007 , General Tags:
Priority Complex

What ever happened to priorities? Why do I find myself getting stupid, useless shit done when I have extremely important matters to attend to? Okay, fine so it’s not stupid, useless shit, HOWEVER, it is most definitely less important than the other things I am not doing. Are my priorities gone? Completely lost? Did I drink them?

…I don’t think so. I just think that when you have a MILLION different things going on at once and you are putting out public and personal fires left and right for 18 hours a day, every day, you sort of reach for the easiest thing to get done, JUST TO GET MORE DONE FASTER. I expend so much energy categorizing the 4,000 things on my to-do list and fielding complications nonstop that I only have enough energy left to get the things done that I don’t absolutely HATE doing. And then your priorities go out the window because all you’re doing is scrambling and grabbing at the FIRST thing you see on your list. It could be anything. I could have smelly dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor, need to go grocery shopping, need to get health insurance, need to finish planning the marketing campaign for whatever show I’m producing, need to schedule production meetings, need to take a shower, need to eat, need to get another job, need to pay some REALLY overdue bills, need to call 50 people, need to get more lamps for the ellipsoidals at Davenport’s (but I don’t have enough money to simply be reimbursed, so I need to get a purchase approval from the owners, but they need the lights TODAY and I can’t get the PA from the owners in time, so I am trying to get ahold of someone that works there than can afford it and get it done, but why I’m doing it in the first place is beyond me because I am getting paid nothing because I can’t work, and I won’t be paid for this so why the hell am I doing it?), need to clean, need to get my loans consolidated, need to open a new bank account, need to write a press release for Weird Romance, need to update the blue moon website and myspace page, need to call James at Strawdog about available resources, need to follow up about rights/rental negotiations, need to get my cat shaved, need to quit smoking, need to get my stuff out of my old apartment, need to find a new apartment, need to pay off my old landlords, need to pay more attention to boyfriend with all the time and energy I DON’T have…

…and I decide to feed my cat. And get the graphic designing work done for the Weird Romance marketing campaign.

And I’m not even breaking the ICE on my personal life.

Anyway you get the idea. There are more things, but I don’t want to think about them right now. I can’t. I’ll freak out. So basically we all have these crazy lists going on and I pretty much either do the thing that I will either enjoy or not COMPLETELY hate doing, or I just grab at the first one I can. It depends. Well, so you can see how my priorities get COMPLETELY screwy and are thrown out the window. Personally, I think getting health insurance is more important than other things, but it all gets mixed together!

And suddenly my priorities, which should be SIMPLE: THIS is important. THIS is less important. THIS needs to be done immediately, they get lost. I get lost. I just do what I can.

…Is that good enough? Is everyone else out there able to do everything that needs to get done in the order that it should be done? Or am I just a mess? …don’t answer that.

Anyway now that I have stopped getting things done ENTIRELY in order to blog about not having enough time to do all of that, I think I should get back to work. Oh, and I really want to go to the show tonight and get my breath of fresh air, but I don’t want to perform the show. ..anyone? anyone?

*SIGH* And the beat goes on…

Eric Thomas Martin

Written on June 8th, 2007 , Bitching About Life Tags: ,
Never do puzzles on shag carpeting…

Oh my god… I am so angry right now I can’t even see straight. Can I just ask the universe one question?? WHY ARE HUMAN BEINGS SCUM?? WHY is it necessary for people to exploit others’ weaknesses to gain something they don’t even need? I’ll answer that question. IT’S NOT NECESSARY. I am so sick of sacrificing my quality of life for one single institution. I’ve been doing it for years now. It’s not fair. And No, life is not fair. I know that. The only people that don’t understand that are Paris Hilton and young corporate yuppies. Well, guess what, Hilton’s in prison and the yuppies are all fools. And now I have just eaten a MOUND of pizza rolls. Seriously, probably about 52 of the suckers. That’s how upset I am. You can always guage my anger based on pizza roll count.
…Well I’m feeling better, anyway, now that I’ve had my evil blood-pressure endangering food. Great. I already have high blood pressure. Maybe I’ll go comatose for a few weeks. At least then I wouldn’t have to deal with the 1,001 complications in my life. Seriously – I am an extremely patient person and right now I think I am reaching my limit. OH MY GOD I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!   …I haven’t been this upset in quite a while. But I can’t leave without saying this… FUCK THEM ALL. THEY’RE ALL GREEDY LITTLE FUCKERS WITH NO SENSE OF MORALITY OR ETHICAL RESPONSIBILITY.

…Life is too short for lies, people. Deception. Too short for second-guessing yourself. Too short for too much pain. Too short for a lot of things, really, and in the end life is way too short to waste even an ounce of love.

And most importantly…

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO FUCK PEOPLE OVER. IT’S A WASTE OF EVERYONE’S TIME.AND MOST LIKELY KARMA WILL BRING YOU A HORRIBLY PAINFUL, SLOW DEATH.

…hopefully.

I have now vented to the universe and hopefully will now be able to get some sleep, though I doubt it. I’ll see all you fuckers in the morning, when I walk out my front door. And remember, always remember this: If you fuck me over, I WILL blog about you.

*sigh* …why is one piece of the damn puzzle always lost in the damn carpet?

Love you all,

Eric M

Written on June 7th, 2007 , Bitching About Life Tags: , ,

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