Princess Princess and the Seven Ghey Virgens boarded the Ynomrah and set sail for an unknown destination. All they knew was that they needed to find The-Most-Evil-Magician-Known-By-The-Most-Offensive-Of-Names and free Princess Nancy Clifford from his evil grasp. The sun was high and spilled its brilliance like a clear fog over the Sea of Rum. The winds were fair and the ship held its unknowable course towards nothing but destiny like a thrown stone cutting its path through the air towards the earth. The perfect day, which made the unavoidable future even that much more unexpected. As Beauty stood on the deck with the Princess they both watched over the other Virgens as they washed and primped the ship. Mind, who was sitting up on the lookout deck, suddenly spotted something stirring in the water just ahead.
“Water disturbance! Water disturbance! Dead ahead! Dead ahead!” Screamed Mind from the lookout. “Looks like a Water Fall!”
Sure enough, as Princess and the other Virgens looked out ahead of the ship they saw a hole in the water about 100 meters ahead of the bow. It seemed to be getting bigger.
“A Water Fall?! What is a Water Fall?!” Asked Princess hastily.
As Beauty turned to answer her, Mind suddenly screamed “A Water Fall is an instance of falling water due to a disturbance deep below the water’s surface! It is a dangerous event and usually portends the presence of a Water Queen! Avoid at all costs! Avoid at all costs!”
“Mind is right,” said Beauty, “Virgens fall into Water Falls and never come back. One of the Water Queens is below the surface of the water, creating a pit to capture Virgens that dare to cross her waters.” He suddenly looked at Guidance. “Guidance! Quickly, what should we do?”
Guidance closed his eyes and let the wind flow through his long beautiful hair. “We must continue our course.” He said, “Water Queens are a source of great knowledge, for they keep Clains enslaved, and they cannot attack the ship of a Princess. We should be safe as long as we are on the Ynomrah.”
The Virgens all looked at one another in terror, knowing that they can trust Guidance, but horrified that they should see one of the Queens – creatures that are known to eat Virgens. As they neared the Water Fall, Mind screamed out “Thank you Guidance! Claines are immature Phoenix birds and, while they look harmless, can be dangerous! They are said to possess great knowledge but in actuality they can only repeat the knowledge of others around them! Any knowledge we wish to procure from the Queen we will find through the Claine bird!”
“Thank you, Mind!” Yelled Princess as the bow of the ship crested the edge of the giant hole in the water. “Virgens, get ready!” Everyone grabbed hold of something and steeled their nerves, bracing for the inevitable plummet down into the water and into the unknown. The sound of the rushing water was unbearably loud, and they could hear what they thought to be a great scream coming from the bottom of the pit.
The ship began to tilt forward and, with a horrible lurch, tipped into the great chasm and sped bow-first into darkness. Strangely, though, while the ship was vertical – falling at a great speed – no one and nothing on the ship had lost balance, or even moved. One by one the crew opened their eyes and tested their footing. They had expected a horrific plunge and instead found that it was as if they had not fallen into any pit – they were sitting calmly in total darkness, all of them looking at a tiny pin of white light that had materialized ahead of the ship. “What a beautiful light.” Said Compassion as the light began to shine brighter and brighter, growing and beginning to blaze brilliantly with light. Everyone began to feel warm and comfortable, and felt the air flow against their skin like flowing water in a warm spring. A beautiful, deep womanly voice issued from the light.
“I am Queen Marguareta of the Sea of Rum. Welcome, Princess. What brings you to Rum?”
“My Teckol has brought me here.” Princess said, “I am Princess Princess Mother Zandra Mahayatt Moselle Fantine Hannah Joanne France and my destiny is here in Rum. I could use your help, if you are willing.”
“How lovely,” said the soothing light of the Queen, “A destiny is a lovely thing to find in Rum. Tell me how I can help you.”
“I am looking for The-Most-Evil-Magician-Known-By-The-Most-Offensive-Of-Names. I must find him quickly and I know not where to look.”
“I understand, sweet Princess. I spoke with him just the other day in passing. He is very handsome, indeed. If I am to tell you how to get to him, you must tell me why you need him.”
“I must find him in a quest to help the Ghey Virgens, as I promised I would.”
“Virgens?” Asked the Queen, “You are helping Virgens?”
“Why, yes, great Queen, can’t you see them?”
“We Queens have no eyes – We cannot see what is in front of us. We can only see what is on the surface of the water from here down below.”
“I have the Seven Ghey Virgens of Rum with me here on my ship, the Ynomrah, and we have come to ask the whereabouts of The-Most-Evil-Magician-Known-By-The-Most-Offensive-Of-Names. Please tell us how to find him.”
“Here? You have seven Ghey Virgens on your ship?”
Guidance was shaking his head silently and frantically to an unsuspecting Princess.
“Why yes I have.”
The brilliant light suddenly exploded in a flash of white light and took the form of a gigantic mouth filled with rotting, sharp teeth littered with skulls like so many grains of salt. A deafening roar screamed from the giant mouth and it began chomping voraciously, just barely unable to actually reach the ship, but trying viciously to crush it in its horrible jaws all the same. A piercing cold had bitten the ship and everyone shivered from the nerve shock. “Fear not Virgens,” screamed Guidance from the bow “As long as we stay on this ship we cannot be harmed! We must be brave!”
The monstrous mouth grunted and huffed as it tried frantically to eat the ship, unsuccessfully and just out of reach of it. “Queen!” Screamed Princess in a fit of hysteria, “Queen! What has happened to you!”
“This is her true self!” Yelled Guidance from across the ship, “It is a ravaging monster bent on one purpose only – Devouring Virgens! It is incapable of any further conversation!” The hideous mouth shrieked and roared out of frustration. “We must find the Claine!”
“There it is! I can see it!” Cried Mind, “Down in the gullet of the Queen! Oh but a wee bird it is!”
“Then I shall engage it in conversation!” Screamed Princess, shrieking yet still trying to maintain a dignified vocal quality, ending up sounding rather like an old British woman, “I shall do it!”
Princess ran forward and stood on the very tip of the front of the bow of the Ynomrah. With a great heaving breath she shrieked, “Claine! I am Princess Princess Mother Zandra Mahayatt Moselle Fantine Hannah Joanne France and I must find The-Most-Evil-Magician-Known-By-The-Most-Offensive-Of-Names! I command you to tell me where he may be found!”
The claine, an entirely bald bird covered in a patchy tattered old dirty white boa, shuddered and opened its slightly discolored beak. A parroty voice squawked and regurgitated the soothing voice of the Queen. “SQUAWK! REETCH! He is at the House of Bricks. REETCH! On the Island of Belle Monte! SQUAWK! I do not remember where it is! You must find the Lanning Statue, for it knows! REETCH! I will set you on course! REETCH REETCH! But hurry, and take care not to cross Queen Marguarita again! Oh, and if you see any Virgens, send them my way! SQUAWK!” The bird puffed its bald wings, clearly under the impression that it had a beautiful plumage, and suddenly the brilliant sky appeared within the horrible mouth, as if they were looking up through a hole in the ground. Water gushed towards the ship out of the sides of the mouth from the other side, creating a tunnel of rushing water around the ship as it lurched forward into the mouth and tipped out onto the calm waters of Rum. They seemed to be moving at a steady speed and as they looked back they caught the final splash of the rushing waters as they filled the chasm they had fallen into. “Keep this course!” Charged the Princess triumphantly as she ran back to the deck, “And keep us away from any further Water Falls!”
The Gheys all steadied themselves and took a deep breath to try and make their shock subside. They had encountered a Water Queen and become the first Virgens in the history of all time to live through it, and most importantly, they figured out how to do it again. They all looked to the glowing horizon as the rushing water occasionally splashed up the side of the boat around them, wondering how long it would take them to reach the Lanning Statue, and wondering even more how they were going to get a statue to talk to them.
To be continued…
