I strive to be simple. A simple life is a good life, as far as I’m concerned. And I am about as simple as it gets when it comes to my taste buds. I know what I like and I like what I know. One of my favorite meals in the world: A beer and pizza rolls with ranch dressing. I don’t need nutrients. I don’t need pretty food. I don’t need healthy food, or even fresh food. I need a beer and pizza rolls. And I don’t even need fancy beer at that. Miller Lite. No, I don’t need a bottle. Give me a can. Give me a can of Miller Lite and some pizza rolls with ranch dressing.

Or give me taco bell and a sprite. That’ll do the trick for me. 3 crunchy tacos, a burrito supreme (no tomatoes, no onions), hot sauce and a sprite will make me the happiest man in the world. I am NOT kidding. I’ll take it over sex any day of the week.

Kraft macaroni & cheese. The kind with powdered cheese that comes in a box. That’s the only kind I will eat. I like it soupy, with about a 1/4 cup more milk than is asked for in the recipe. And fat free skim milk is the best for this tasty treat. The butter has to be just right, no more and no less than the recipe please.

Buffalo Wings. I could eat an entire buffet of buffalo wings. With tons of celery and ranch dressing instead of bleu cheese.

Hot, freshly iced chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a tall frosty glass of fat free skim milk.

Warm chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven, just underbaked so they’re SOFT, with a big glass of fat free skim milk.

A steak, medium to medium well and real juicy, with a twice baked potato and asparagus. A la Joey’s Brickhouse 14-inch skirt steak special. But be careful: You buy me this, and you’ll be buying me breakfast too ;)

Those are a few of my favorite meals.

1. Thank God for Kraft
2. Never do puzzles on shag carpeting…
3. I’M DRUNK BLOGGING! HA!
4. My favorite christmas present!
5. My Favorite Painters