What ever happened to priorities? Why do I find myself getting stupid, useless shit done when I have extremely important matters to attend to? Okay, fine so it’s not stupid, useless shit, HOWEVER, it is most definitely less important than the other things I am not doing. Are my priorities gone? Completely lost? Did I drink them?

…I don’t think so. I just think that when you have a MILLION different things going on at once and you are putting out public and personal fires left and right for 18 hours a day, every day, you sort of reach for the easiest thing to get done, JUST TO GET MORE DONE FASTER. I expend so much energy categorizing the 4,000 things on my to-do list and fielding complications nonstop that I only have enough energy left to get the things done that I don’t absolutely HATE doing. And then your priorities go out the window because all you’re doing is scrambling and grabbing at the FIRST thing you see on your list. It could be anything. I could have smelly dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor, need to go grocery shopping, need to get health insurance, need to finish planning the marketing campaign for whatever show I’m producing, need to schedule production meetings, need to take a shower, need to eat, need to get another job, need to pay some REALLY overdue bills, need to call 50 people, need to get more lamps for the ellipsoidals at Davenport’s (but I don’t have enough money to simply be reimbursed, so I need to get a purchase approval from the owners, but they need the lights TODAY and I can’t get the PA from the owners in time, so I am trying to get ahold of someone that works there than can afford it and get it done, but why I’m doing it in the first place is beyond me because I am getting paid nothing because I can’t work, and I won’t be paid for this so why the hell am I doing it?), need to clean, need to get my loans consolidated, need to open a new bank account, need to write a press release for Weird Romance, need to update the blue moon website and myspace page, need to call James at Strawdog about available resources, need to follow up about rights/rental negotiations, need to get my cat shaved, need to quit smoking, need to get my stuff out of my old apartment, need to find a new apartment, need to pay off my old landlords, need to pay more attention to boyfriend with all the time and energy I DON’T have…

…and I decide to feed my cat. And get the graphic designing work done for the Weird Romance marketing campaign.

And I’m not even breaking the ICE on my personal life.

Anyway you get the idea. There are more things, but I don’t want to think about them right now. I can’t. I’ll freak out. So basically we all have these crazy lists going on and I pretty much either do the thing that I will either enjoy or not COMPLETELY hate doing, or I just grab at the first one I can. It depends. Well, so you can see how my priorities get COMPLETELY screwy and are thrown out the window. Personally, I think getting health insurance is more important than other things, but it all gets mixed together!

And suddenly my priorities, which should be SIMPLE: THIS is important. THIS is less important. THIS needs to be done immediately, they get lost. I get lost. I just do what I can.

…Is that good enough? Is everyone else out there able to do everything that needs to get done in the order that it should be done? Or am I just a mess? …don’t answer that.

Anyway now that I have stopped getting things done ENTIRELY in order to blog about not having enough time to do all of that, I think I should get back to work. Oh, and I really want to go to the show tonight and get my breath of fresh air, but I don’t want to perform the show. ..anyone? anyone?

*SIGH* And the beat goes on…

Eric Thomas Martin