Okay, totally. Someone’s status on facebook tonight says “…sure could use some wonderflonium.” I could too, buddy! How nicely put. My life right now is in a state of flux. First and foremost, I am trying to nail down where I want my career to go. It’s difficult. I am really torn between focusing on web programming, graphic design, and corporate graphic design. I am really leaning towards corporate graphic design at this point because I seem to have a really good mix of brand awareness, creativity, and design editing/restraint. It seems to be the best fit. And at this point I really don’t feel like I can let any of the other pieces of my life fall into place before settling into a career, which is both confusing and grounding at the same time.
As a Cancer I am very comfortable in relationships. I am used to being in relationships and I am used to working with another person in that kind of a capacity. After finding myself in a place of stagnation and oversaturation, I recently took 2 years off of dating and I felt it was really good for me. However, now I am in a place where I am open to the possibility of entering into a commitment with someone. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. I had a great relationship with a fantastic guy for 8 months that unfortunately just didn’t work out. We had some irreconcilable differences and that happens. In addition to that, there was never a spark with this guy. Don’t get me wrong, he was great; there was just never that “X Factor” that seals the deal. And I unfortunately found that out a little to late.
I recently met a guy that I did feel that spark with. We got along great, made each other laugh, made each other think, challenged each other, attracted each other… pretty much everything you could desire in a relationship. We looked forward to seeing each other, we’re both in the same league, and there’s not much wrong with the pairing. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the spark (even though I did). Not sure why. Of course my first instinct is to assume that he’s not attracted to me, that I’m not smart enough, that I’m not interesting enough, etc… but what I think it really comes down to is the fact that once he “got me,” he didn’t want me anymore. Typical and very predictable male behavior. And I don’t blame him for that; you can’t blame someone for not feeling something for you, and it’s a proven fact that males typically are more into the chase than the prize.
The result: I really believe he and I will be great friends. And I think that’s fantastic. I have always wanted a really good gay friend and have never been able to have one, and this guy seems like that is something he is open to. So I am going to foster our friendship, set my feelings aside, and hope that we can have a good bond together. We get along so well (aside from the predictable awkwardness from such a setting) and I am really looking forward to the prospect of a good new friend.
Anyway, it’s been a while since any sort of relationship update and I thought it was about time.
My prediction: Man-Fast, Part II.
Luv you all,
Eric M Chicago
