I have a strong feeling that a lot of us are getting ready to enter a new stage in our lives in the coming weeks. Our lives are becoming much more important these days, and a lot of us are embarking on new journeys, being forced to make decisions that will be fulcrums for the rest of our lives, repaying debts (monetary and karmic), reevaluating our lives, what we want, what we think we are worth, what is truly important to us. I know quite a few people whose lives seem to be coming to a head, and I know my life has already traveled through a one-way gateway, changing what I thought was going to be my life forever.

I just want to put this out there: I want all of you to promise me one thing – that you will let yourselves become braver people than you ever thought you were. And that doesn’t mean taking chances, necessarily. I mean maybe it does, but that’s not what I’m talking about. It simply means that you will be more honest with yourself than ever, and stand up with your decisions with all the conviction you own. And most importantly, not to let convenience or comfort penetrate what is really valuable to you. Convenience and comfort can sometimes be your best friends or your most dangerous enemies, disguising themselves as feelings that are more important and pure. And there’s the rub – when are those things supporting your life or draining it? It took me the longest time to figure that out for myself. I think it’s different for each situation, but in the end they are really merely byproducts of more important things – they are there only as a result of other, more impenetrable forces. It’s up to you to deal with those forces, and figure out how they affect you. “It’s just easier” usually never makes anyone’s life any easier. And anyway don’t ever build your life on byproducts… you give away your control and you could end up with some really nasty food poisoning.

You only live once. I believe that to be the most powerful grouping of words ever created, and there’s a reason why the happiest people on the planet use that as their mantra. Figure out what you want, and go get it if you can. Own it all. Just remember that if you lie to yourself or other people in order to get it, then you ruin it’s value. Simply ruin it.

Yes, I’m tired, and depressed, and emotionally and physically drained. No, I don’t actually have any idea what I’m talking about in this blog. I don’t even think it makes sense.

Hm? Well I don’t know. She might, I can’t tell you.

…

Seventeen. No, I counted twice.

I’m going to make myself a cocktail and take a nap, and dream about a world in which I get everything I want – including enough sleep and someone to do my laundry for me whenever I want, for free. Oh, and a gift card to like, I don’t know, Target or something. To get a nice picture with. Or a CD, or something. Maybe a frame. I love frames. I need to frame a few things, actually. Maybe Target’s having a sale, and I could get like 3 frames and a CD with my gift card. Sometimes they have cute track jackets, too.

Why are there so many fucking songs about rainbows?

Eric M