Hello. Slow night at work. Katie and I have been here ALL day and we want to leave! Harmony I can see that you’re online thanks to all this technology and I know you’ll read this. Just wanted to let you know I’m going to Autumn’s after work for a bit.You may call me if you wish. Well here I am in the office with Professor John’s Amazing Stomping Feet making the ceiling almost cave in (New Orleans Jazz – go fig) with a Ketel One dirty. Mmm. And Katie is spinning about the office in one of the chairs. SOO I am going to have her guest blog for me for a few minutes! Katie, tell us a little something:
Hi, this is Katie Flynn. I’ve been here the live long day, cleaning dusty shelves that had been neglected for some time. Thanks to me, they’re kissibly clean…..I know this because I kissed the shelves after I cleaned them. Anyhoot, Eric has been along for this journey of cleaning. Although he didn’t participate in the cleaning festivities, he was present–working on very important things. Computer stuff…….So, now after I’ve been here since 11 AM (it is now almost 9 PM), I’ve had about 8 cokes and 3 hot chocolates. I ate a Jimmy John’s sub that was doused in oil and vinegar as well as some fries from Harold’s Chicken. I wore a green sweater today with jeans and sneakers. I brushed my mullet, which I’ve never done before. I used a brush that we found in the dirty sink and my head is already beginning to itch. Eric is so grand and he’s actually supposed to be teching a show right now, but decided to get a martini and come down to the office and blog instead. That’s all for now…..hope to guest blog again very soon. I promise it will be just as exciting was, maybe more. I love Eric and it’s been a pleasure to guest blog.
..Thank you Katie, that was very informative. We’ll have another guest blogger in the future. For now, may I say that Katie, I am the boss and I may do as I please. Now, I will discuss a short topic today and that topic is “How NOT to attract Eric Martin’s attention.”
Be advised that the following does not work:
1) MySpace messages that say “ur cute. we should hang. 24/chitown.”
2) Dancing like a fool.
3) Glaring at me.
4) Buying me drinks with ulterior motives in mind. But yes, I will take the drink. Thank you.
5) Telling bad jokes. Especially “office” humor. Get the hell away from me.
6) Trying to be interesting when you are clearly not interesting.
7) Trying to become friends with my friends in hopes that they will introduce us. Firstly, I see that one from a mile away. Secondly, they tell me.
8) Spying on me from across the way and not coming up to say hi. You are clearly staring at me. How sad your life must be.
These are the things that inevitably happen to your standard gay man and I have decided that I will put up with it no longer. Gosh, I’ve just laid things out these past few blogs, no? I have no idea what that’s about. Anyway, an honestly real guy would be nice once in a while. See my profile for a detailed listing. I may have met one. And hey, maybe I’ll make a T-shirt from that list. Now THAT would be funny.
Adieu my friends,
Eric Martin